Saturday, September 27, 2008

Finally, some time for ourselves....... So, what do we do?

I'm very fortunate to live close to my in-laws. I am even more fortunate to have in-laws that love babysitting. A couple weeks ago they babysat our daughter for the first time. My daughter, Elise, is three months old. Ryan's parents had been making it quite clear that they would like to babysit (they bought a crib). So Ryan and I decided we wanted to go see Burn After Reading (very good, by the way). We took the baby over to my in-laws, I fed her as soon as we got there, then we left to see the movie. Elise is still feeding about every three hours, so by the time we got back to pick her up, we had just enough time to make it back home so I could feed her again before putting her to sleep.
This week Ryan was away on business all week. His parents told us to go out tonight and they would watch the baby. The only problem: We don't really know what to do.
Yeah, I admit it, it's pretty sad. We could always see another movie, but that's kinda like a dating cop-out. You don't really get to spend time together. You just sit there in the dark in silence and watch the movie.... unless you're 15. If you're 15, the movie theater is the best place to go on the date, because it's the only place you and your date can be together by yourselves in a dark place. Yeah, between the ages of 13 and 15, all you want to do is go to the movies. During the opening credits, your pinkies are just touching. By the closing credits, you've cut someone's lip with your braces. *sigh* Good times.
Anywho, yeah, my husband and I are kinda past making out in a dark theater, passing chewed up jujubees from one mouth to another (gross, sorry). Maybe we shouldn't be, but we are. Does that make us boring? Maybe. But with today's economy, we're not paying full price for tickets and not watching the movie. We can make out on our couch for free.... with the tv off, 'cause we aren't wastin' the electric.
And we are not going out for dinner. I've already thawed the pork chops! Plus, I always feel like I'm wasting money when I go out to eat. I usually order stuff I could make at home anyway.
So what is cheap and can be accomplished in 2 1/2 hours...... My husband isn't in to art, so we can't go to some gallery... who really does that anyway?
Making out in the car in the grocery store parking lot..... with the car off, 'cause we aren't wastin' the gas!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

What Came First, the Wedding or the Egg?

My daughter was born this past June. I got married this past April..... Yeah, there was a lot of bride walking down that aisle!
When my husband and I found out I was pregnant, initially, we were not going to get married until maybe a year after the baby was born. We loved each other very much and knew we wanted to get married, but it was just something that, at the time, neither of us wanted to hurry..... until the hormones kicked in.
My husband proposed to me at the beginning of February and after that I decided I wanted to have a small wedding before the baby was born. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that on the day my baby would be born, I wanted us to be husband and wife. It just felt right for me. That being said, it felt right for me. I can totally understand if you don't get married before the baby is born, or if you don't get married ever! You can do whatever feels right for you. Also, don't let family or friends butt in and tell you that you "need to get married." It's your decision and you know what you need to do. I will tell you, planning a wedding while being very pregnant with only two months for planning is very stressful.
I set the date for our wedding for the last Saturday in April. The next two months were very rough on me. My parents live on the East Coast, so I couldn't have my mom there to help with the planning. At the time, I was still getting to know my husband's parents, and we weren't really that close yet.
Fast forward two months to the week of the wedding. Every day I would check the weather for the weekend, and every day it said the same thing: RAIN! We were getting married outside in a rose garden!
I had arranged to have a flower arrangement done by the local florist to go over the archway of the gazebo. The Wednesday before the wedding the florist asked me to come in to make sure I liked the flowers they were using. When I went in to the flower shop, the girl at the desk had all these gorgeous white flowers set out and let me pick which ones I liked. I picked up a beautiful lilly and noticed a tag on the stem. I picked up other flowers and noticed tags on their stems, too. Then it hit me... They were using fake flowers. Now, when it comes to wedding planning, I admit that I am very green. But for the money I was paying, I really felt like I should be getting real flowers. I didn't think that was a ridiculous request. The girl told me that the good thing about having fake flowers was that I could put them in my house afterwards..... Great.......
So I nixed the idea and decided to do the arrangement myself, because I'm a glutton for punishment. I ordered twenty huge, real, white lilly heads for Saturday from the flower shop. I went to the craft store and bought some ivy and ribbon. I twisted the ivy and white ribbon together. On the day of the wedding, I picked up the flowers. I did my hair and make-up at the kitchen table of my house. I got my dress, which was very lovely, from Isabella Oliver, which is a really awesome, online maternity store. I couldn't handle heels at 7 months pregnant, so I bought silver flip flops from Target.
My husband and I were the first ones to get to the rose garden. I laid my ivy out and stuck each lilly head into it. My husband went out and hung the arrangement above the archway of where we would be married. Everyone (all 8 of our guests) wore white daisies on their lapels and I wore white daisies in my hair.
Oh yeah, the rain! Okay, so on the drive over to the rose garden it was raining. I was very nervous and very upset. I just sat there in silence on the ride over, thinking about how we would have to get married in the park bathrooms or something horrible like that. My husband thought I was being quiet because I was having second thoughts about the wedding! Anyway, as soon as we got to the park, it stopped raining and it didn't rain through the whole ceremony.
After the wedding, we went down to the arts district (the Short North) and had lunch at this great Asian fusion restaurant. The wedding cake was brought in from a little local bakery across the street from the restaurant. Everything was really nice and everything worked out well.
It definitely was not the wedding I had envisioned for myself, growing up. Actually, to be honest, I never really thought I would ever get married... or have kids. I guess, sometimes the things that you never even thought you wanted or would like, are the things that end up completing you. They help to make you that whole person. At least, that's what happened for me.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Hmm, that's strange... My newborn does not weigh 35lbs...

Everyone tells you not to get too upset if you have to wear maternity clothes home from the hospital. I packed my maternity jeans and a non-maternity cotton shirt (with a bit of stretch to it). Putting my jeans on over my deflated body, I thought to myself, "Well, these fit much looser. Not too bad for just giving birth yesterday." After wearing nothing but a hospital gown for the last couple days, I walked out of the bathroom in an outfit that showed off my post-pregnancy body a little better. My husband took one look at me and smiled and went back to watching tv. I guess I thought maybe he was going to look at me and say, "Wow, you look amazing! You look exactly like you did before you got pregnant! I'm so lucky to be married to be married to such a beautiful woman! I would never have believe that you just gave birth yesterday." He never said that, but part of me thought he was thinking it... The crazy part of me.
Finally, we were discharged from the hospital and back home. As my husband and I were getting everything unloaded from the car, our neighbor walked up our driveway.
"So, did you have your baby yet?" she asked.
I laughed, thinking she was joking.
"Yep," I answered, waiting for her to go into the whole, "you look amazing, I can't believe it" thing.
She gave me a blank stare.
"Nuh, uh," she said.
I looked at her like she was from another planet. How could she think I was still pregnant?
"No, seriously, the baby's right here."
"Oh, I thought you were joking! You really had the baby!"

Moral of the story: Very few people come out of childbirth looking exactly like they did before. And as much as you try, you can't really prepare yourself for the disappointment that you are not one of those very few people.

Everyone has a different opinion on when you should start working out again. I say, start when you feel like you can. Having a baby brings a whole new level of stress into your life. Before, I used to handle my stress by smoking or going to happy hour after work. But now I have gotten rid of the cigarettes and have postponed the alcohol for the next year.
Breastfeeding did help me lose weight and helped my stomach to go down... initially. Like many Americans, I knew that stress for me would lead to stress-eating. I couldn't get the relief from a puff on a cigarette or a sip of vodka and cranberry, but I knew that I had access to ice cream, chips and cookies. It was then I decided that I needed to start working out right away.

I'll be honest, I hate working out. The first five minutes of being on the treadmill are hell for me. I keep a towel over the timer. After being on there, jogging at a pretty good pace, I decide to check the time, thinking that I've been working out for at least 25 minutes.... WHAT?! I've only been on this stupid thing for 7 minutes! That scenario happens literally every time I go to the gym. I hate working out. But after a serious work-out, I'll walk out to my car feeling a lot better than I did when I walked in. There's something about working out that leaves me feeling happier. It gives me a clearer head. It also gives me more energy, which I need right now. Also, going to the gym makes you feel good about yourself. Your lazy single friend calls you up after a day walking around the mall, drinking high-calorie iced coffees.
"Hey, I'm just leaving the mall. I need to get home before my show about teenagers, which I am too old to be watching, comes on. What did you do today?"
"Oh, not too much. Just leaving the gym," you say, smiling, on your way home to watch that show about teenagers, which you are too old to be watching.
Here's another tip: Stop watching shows about teenagers! No matter what you do, you will never look like that 16 year old. Never! Your body is different now and it will never be the same again. But that's okay, because having a hot mom body is 10 times better than having a hot teenage body, because you've worked hard for it! Plus, it's illegal for your significant other to do what you two do with a hot teenage body. Remind them of that the next time you are watching some stupid reality show on MTV. Actually, why don't you just get rid of the television? It'll be better for your sex life.

How Did I Get Here?

In June of 2006, I had just turned 22 years old and had moved from Wilmington, Delaware to Columbus, Ohio. I had lived in Delaware my whole life and was looking for a change. I had spent a little time in college and worked various odd jobs, but I was still trying to find my "passion." After spending a little time in Columbus, I decided that would be my next home. I really liked the art and music scene in Columbus, plus the cost of living was much cheaper than that of the east coast. I really thought that Columbus would be a good "jumping-off point." I thought I would live there for a little while, figure things out, then move to a big city like New York or Los Angeles.....
Well, it's September of 2008 and I am married, have a three month old daughter and I live in the suburbs.
Yeah, things don't always go exactly as planned. But that's okay, because I finally found something that I'm good at. Not just good, but really great!
There have always been things in my life that I've been either mediocre at or pretty good at... But I am actually fantastic at being a mom! I've only been doing it a couple months, but I'm catching on quick and I really like doing it. I've definitely made my fair share of mistakes (trying to change the baby's diaper on the bed in the hospital.... the nurses were not happy) but the kid is still in one piece and we're all pretty happy.
Now I'm trying to figure out how to be a mom, how to be a wife and still how to be myself. My habits have definitely changed. Before I became pregnant, I was a smoker, I liked going out to bars and clubs, I spent money as quickly as I made it, and the closest I came to cooking was pouring milk into my cereal. Now things are totally different. I don't smoke or drink (but I'm definitely pouring myself a glass of wine when I get this kid weaned). My husband is the only one bringing in a paycheck right now, so I'm doing all I can to save money. Also, I cook and bake now, which I actually love doing!
But being a mom doesn't mean you have to start wearing high-waisted, pleated jeans or Christmas sweaters (unless you like wearing those things. In that case, keep it real.) I've found that even with a new set of responsibilities, I'm still the same person I was before. I still have the same interests I had and I'm getting into a whole bunch of new creative things.
Everyday I'm learning something new. Some days are good and some days are bad, but every day is different.